Tulisa confirms N-Dubz split by ranting at Dappy on Twitter
X Factor judge and grammar abuser rants at her cousin on Twitter over her supposed role in their rift.Read more on N-Dubz Listen to N-Dubz on Spotify
In the week's least surprising bit of news, Tulisa Contostavlos has confirmed that N-Dubz have split after rowing with Dappy on Twitter.
Tulisa started to call Dappy out after he retweeted messages from fans that asked her to make contact with him.
Writing on Twitter, The X Factor judge said: "@TheDappy u know my number mate..I dont know urs cus u aint gave it 2 me since u changed it... so dont gass the fans, u wana talk Im here [sic].
"@TheDappy serious man I hold it down, dont make me start talkin real cus u won't like it nor will the fans, allow twitter,man up n call me."
What followed was a tirade that shed light on the N-Dubz situation - assuming that the public is still grieving over the split - and an assault on English grammar that would make Lynne Truss and any self-respecting writer weep onto their Macbook.
Tulisa then stated that N-Dubz had officially split by tweeting that Dappy had been the one to leave the band and shatter its musical legacy. "4 the ndubletts triena take sides... pls remember... dappy left ndubz, that's y we split, n wen he wanted 2 get away I tried 2 move him... In2 my yard"
She confirmed that he had not been in touch since the group's split: "So pls don't let @TheDappy gass u up cus he knows what it is... I will kill 4 him n he knows it... but ask him the last time he tried 2 call me," adding to him: "@TheDappy dont reply 2 me by tweet, pick ya balls up n call me, I got a new place, cum stay, but dont b an ass on twitter... wen u know the deal."
"F this,cant believe I stooped so low as 2 have a private debate on twitter, but I aint havin no1 turn ndubletts against me over b*llocks. Said my piece on dis s**t n not doin it again... believe what u want after that but don't judge me on lies... sum1s gone below the belt 2nit."
If you need a translator for that rant, the summation is that Dappy left and Tulisa is angry that he's "lying to the N-Dubletts" - which sounds like a new Pokémon breed - about why the cousins no longer speak.
Watch the urban kestrel's infamous appearance on Never Mind The Buzzcocks below.